i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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