I don't usually arrange sex via text message
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
third nipple confirmed
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Randomize
