Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
