I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Can Purell be used as lube?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
