I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
