I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize