I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
