She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
