It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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