it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
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