how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
