Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
