im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
