Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Boobs are out for the taking
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
