We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize