I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
