I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
