Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
