When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
