there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
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