the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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