Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
