that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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