Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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