It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Randomize
