worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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