id be glad to
I just threw up on my dentist
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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