The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just blew my weed a kiss
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
