It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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