I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
