You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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