Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
