well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
