Tell her she can't have a vagina
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
