yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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