i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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