Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
