physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
