last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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