Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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