I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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