I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
