Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
