Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
