Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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