just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
