whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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