Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I don't want my vagina anymore.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
