Fine. I'll sleep in my office
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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