There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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