You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
