i jhust puked up my retainher.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize