I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
