you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
