I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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